Is Your Romance Playing ReRuns?

Did you like reading "Cinderella" or watching" Sex in the City", but of late feel stuck in your own melodrama and not too happy with it? After puberty, you think you'd have given up fairytales! Maybe you're a lucky one and have chosen a decent romance story, and not suffering over the one you have. But if your romance is flagging, the culprit is a fantasy rerun that is paralleling your reality. It's like having a split screen playing two stories at the same time. For women, one movie is running "Prince Charming", while on the other screne is "The Disenchanting Frog".

You tell yourself your partner SHOULD be more like Prince Charming! And not like the Frustrating Frog asleep on the sofa! 'Cinderella did NOT get to stay at the ball' and 'No romance ever lasts', the pouting actress simpers. So just like in Sex in the City, she ponders about the next one. With such old and familiar fiction droning on, you hardly realize your mind's on an never ending rerun loop.
If you're sad or disillusioned over your unrecognized dreams and romantic expectations, it helps to remember it's your own mind's drama. You are the protagonist, the storyteller and the script writer. You even direct how to act and respond in each scene. But isn't it is easier to focus on the Frog? It seems everything we do has payoffs. Focusing on the relationship and disappointment with the "Prince" is a distraction from running your own life. This addiction keeps you irresponsible and dependent, just like a little kid wishing for a Fairy Godmother. Hardly a fun payoff, as it prevents you from creating your own good health and happiness now.

When stuff happens and people don't behave, get out some paper and write a new story for your mind's myth collection. This would stop the old re-actions to former fixed fantasies. If your "Prince Charming" is being a "Total Toad", remember everything has a shadow and that it's your adherence to high hopes casting the darkness. You can feel pain or loss in the moment but choose NOT TO SUFFER. You can also choose how you want to act. Remember, pain is a given in life but suffering is optional. It's easy to say that you need to change your thinking. It's the doing part that's more difficult, yet it is the doing that creates change. Watching your mind's make-beliefs will help turn off the tapes, and allow you to consciously choose your thoughts and actions. You may start to become more aware that it's you creating your reality. Then your Prince/Frog might join you in your awakening and start singing Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead. About the Author

Satya Winkelman, M.A.,is a psychotherapist, a communication trainer for Fortune 500 companies, Director of Wise Women Retreats,and an Artist. She is the author of a self-help book,"Through the Fire: A Guide to Transformation" using her senseous art as guides to higher consciousness. See art